Saturday we went to the highland games. That proved to be a little too taxing...I started to feel the lack of calories, my legs felt like jello. I ended up sitting under a tree for the rest of the highland games watching the sheep dog trials. I looked at my pedometer that night and realized I took 11000 steps! We aren't supposed to be exercising that much in the beginning. Sunday my sister came over with her family...we went swimming. It came time for dinner and we opted to do pizza. I didn't even crave it! My sister said she was doing half of a slim fast shake every 3 hours and a lean cuisine for lunch. She said she was craving the pizza a lot, but didn't eat it.
I don't know why but I'm bothered that she has decided now of all times to go on a strict diet. It would be nice if she just supported me, but I kinda feel like she is trying to compete. I don't really want to compete with anyone.
I've been reading my book and just trying to understand why I feel and there fore eat (ate) the way I did. The closet eating is something I may delve into more. I have a fear of being alone, but I think that might be a chicken or egg thing. If I'm home alone I eat like a PIG! No one can see me, so I just go nuts! So, is it that I don't like to be alone because I will overeat? Or is it I overeat because I'm alone? Perhaps a mix of both...but I think the alone thing is a big deal for me, so I want to work on that more.
My clothes are looser already. My Wii says I lost about 3 pounds (I won't actually let it tell me how much I weigh) It just gives me BMI and hey you lost 2 pounds since last time or you lost 1 pound...blah blah blah and I'm purposely not keeping track. My co-worker (the one I can barely understand) said I looked like I lost weight, but I think that is the dehydration...it pulls the skin in around my neck (that's the cancer patient look I was talking about).
Weigh in is Thursday with another class. I may check in before then.
3 comments:
I can imagine the shakes are not yummy, especially since that's the only thing that will pass your lips with flavor, right? It's important to make them taste good. Your flavor combo descriptions are funny. Try chocolate and caramel. Do they make peanutbutter flavored shakes? Then you ould add chocolate syrup to that and make a recees flavor. Yum.
your sister is a meddler. Sadly, she's one of those opinionated people who don't know when to keep her opinions to herself or to frame those opinions to just state the information rather than judge. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT KEEPING YOURSELF IN SHAPE FOR YOUR HUSBAND. That's bull shit.
here's why I think I have weight problems. I LOVE TO EAT, and taste food, and cook food, and please others with food. BUT, I am also lazy and excessive in may other facets of my life...and just don't know when to stop.
I understand your comment about eating while you're alone. It's easy to do, and then when the family comes home, and you have to ook for them, it's hard to say I've already eaten, so I won't eat with you. Instead, we eat again.
in an earlier post you commented on what to do w/ your other 25 minutes of lunch. I'm sure they talk about it in your classes, but avoid adding shopping to your colpulses list. I did that. Ratherthan eat, I'd go to the mall or something. Big trouble there. Maybe you can read a book? I just finished several that are very good that you might like.
glad things are going well so far! I'll be sure to read daily from now on, ok?
Oh, and I was also wondering if your being alone reflection has gone into the past? I recall you never wanted to be alone when we were younger. I don't know about before 6th grade, but once we connected we were like butt cheeks, sometimes separated, but most always together. Then, when you started dating Chuck, you were always with him, then Ben...and then ben and kids. Being alone is not something you have done much. And when you were separated from your BFF, BF when you were younger and at home with your mom and sister, what was that like? Was it lonely? I know that it can be lonely when there are people around sometimes. Could the alone issue have started a long time ago? Just a thougt.
The shake flavors are vanilla, chocolate and orange...I can tell you from experience orange is gross and there is NOTHING you can put in that shake that will change that. I tried...I added chocolate syrup to the orange (because I love that combo or I did until the shakes!)Gross tasted like a candy bar dipped in easy orange (the cleaning stuff) I tried putting vanilla in it to make a 50/50, nope tasted like ice cream in easy orange...by itself yep it just tastes like easy orange cleaner.
I did caramel and chocolate...its subtle, but good, chocolate is actually the only one that tastes okay with nothing in it, but it gets boring. Just tastes like chocolate water.
As for the shopping been there and done that...so not falling for that this time, yet today at lunch I went to costco...dammit, there goes THAT resolution! I only bought ice to bring back to work for my shakes though. I think I will join my friend for lunch and just have a diet soda. I want to keep things as "normal" as possible. I could become a recluse very easily (even though I hate being alone)
As for the alone thing that runs deep and yes its been with me my whole life! I don't blame my mom for much of anything and I still don't but as a child I was alone a lot. When I was really young mom was newly divorced...my sister would "watch" me, but she was like 11...she shouldn't have been alone either. I think there is more though...bad things happened to me when I was unsupervised none of it my fault, but maybe those are just words and I do blame myself for some of that maybe that's some of the unworthy stuff and the not being able to take a compliment and not wanting to be left to my own devises to make bad choices what ever I think those bad choices are...It helps to write it down and see it. Kinda like pulling it out of my brain and putting the puzzle together on the screen.
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