It seems all week that people have been inviting me to things for Thursday night. For some I say sorry I have plans...for the ones who know I'm starting Optifast I tell them I'm going to my anger management class. They'll teach me how to not kill anyone for 20 or so weeks that I don't eat solid food.
I've been trying to think about what I will do with my time at lunch. I need only drink a glass of watered substitute...what will I do for the other 25 minutes? I thought about going to lunch with one of my friends just to keep her company...or maybe walking around the campus. I have a crazy stalker lady though and I don't want to run into her so I avoid walking outside my building.
I was pretty traumatized over my cousins. They used to do girls day with just my sister...I wasn't invited. They went on a cruise and had a huge fight. My cousin C ended up hanging over a balcony at the end of it! My other cousin pulled her up with my sister and then beat the crap out of C for being so stupid. That's when they decided they needed a 4th person to balance things out. The first girls day I did with them they both got uber drunk at the spa we were at. People were laughing at them...Linda started cussing at one of the people who was laughing at her. Then Cathy for some reason refused to get in the car! Linda again started smacking her telling her to "get in the fucking car!". This last one is really odd. Linda has a huge house! For some ODD reason L and C were sleeping in L's bed even though there were 2 empty bedrooms in the house. sis and I were on the other side of the house when C came in to get us saying she needed help with L. Lwas on the floor when we got in the room. C said she turned the TV on because she needs noise to sleep. Ltold her to shut it off...C refused. L got up and fell. When C went over with sis to lift L into the bed L smacked at C saying "get the fuck away from me! Don't fucking touch me!" C ignored her. L kicked her. Then said she had to go the bathroom. Sis was trying to help her to the bathroom every time C would move or talk Lwould go nuts. L is on the toilet cussing out C ... C goes in and rips L off the toilet and throws her naked ass to the ground and starts dragging her back to the bed. This is when I went back to my room...I really hate drama. A little while later C came out and said she was going home. I said no, you are drunk...either call someone to pick you up or sleep in this other room. She went to her car and promised she would just sleep in her car...an hour later I heard her drive away. The next morning L woke with a sore from a rug burn under her eye and a black and blue jaw. Crazy ass night. I haven't spent anytime alone with either since then...big family functions only.
I'm wondering what this class is going to be about tonight. The last time I did this we started the supplement the first night of class. They said I won't start the supplement until the 23rd. Last time we thought we were going to start the supplement the next day after the class, but the counselor said you start tonight...a lot of people had planned a "last meal" with their family. He said why sabotage yourself before you even begin!? Start tonight! That threw a lot of us off. I started that night, but always wished I had gone for a Rubios lobster burrito instead. I hope they don't trick us with that tonight because I won't start tonight or this week for that matter. The wine is being judged at the fair on Saturday and I'm tasting! Besides its the FAIR! I know there will always be something but when I've lost the weight eating or drinking causes me to lose everything I worked for...right now I lose nothing by waiting a week. Does that sound like self talk? I think it does. We'll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment