Okay it's starting to get rough.
So, Friday I went back on 70 with an additional shake. I was good until about noon...then the steam left me. Sloth time. I went home and did nothing just as I had planned. I crashed early. Saturday I woke up feeling fresh and great! I made scotch eggs no problem. We went to a brewery with some friends and did a little tasting...not me of course. We went to Hunter steak house after dinner. I had my soup...no problem. We stayed up until about 11:30pm and I was fine. I woke Sunday feeling pretty good. It was beautiful outside and we had planned to watch a rugby game with our friends at the house. I wished we were walking around the lake instead. Then noon hit and I felt anxious. Our friends couldn't make it for the game so we watched it by ourselves together. I for some reason felt anxious. A lump in my throat and I didn't trust myself to be in the kitchen! That's new! I was hungry, insatiably hungry! I had a shake...then a soup...then a shake nothing worked. I was just hungry and anxious...maybe because I was hungry!
Today I started out okay but 2pm and I had that lump in my throat...I'm back to cold and I'm HUNGRY! One thing that works for me when I'm hungry I'm listening to this brainwave thing on my iPad. I wish they had a brainwave thing for the cold. That helps, but WTF? Why am I hungry?
I honestly think it's all in my head...the cold, the hunger all of it. I think maybe I'm afraid to get to my goal weight. Does that sound odd? It seems every since I got to 170 I've had trouble of some kind. I think its subconscious? But why? It just seems odd that at this point I'm having so much trouble. I don't know.
1 comment:
I wonder what you could have a mental block on 170 about? (Did that make sense?)
I also think messing with your shakes might have something to do with your hunger. Your brain knows what it feels like to have more...so it still wants more? Maybe.
Anxious? I don't know what that's about. Maybe your anxeous because it's coming to the end, and then you'll really be on your own, be on your guard, and be on your best eating behavior.
Change is scary. You've had quite a few changes lately.
For example...when do you ever confront people like the PA? Would you have done that under normal circumstances? Have you changed in the way you approach certain situations because of the therapy? Maybe you're afraid of being your own personal food/eating advocate?
IDK. Lots of changes for you.
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