So I owe you sound bites from the last meeting and the one last night. I'm skipping the ones from the meeting before last night...we had a sub and I got nothing out of it.
So sound bites from last night...a little tip when we go back to food. During maintenance I can buy 6 boxes of the shake...counselor recommends that I do that and when I go back to food and I have an anxiety attack (I have those about food) I need to do a "digestive reboot" basically just cut out food again and go back to shakes for a day.
Another tip...if you have a time of day where you just need to eat (for me that is 3pm) I just get spent at work and I'm tired, hungry and thirsty...I find myself at the snack machine getting something salty and then sweet...then when that doesn't satisfy it I go to the cafe and get a coffee with lots of sugar (those days are gone...) but if I get that urge at 3pm or 9:30...it hits me then too. I should just have a shake, nothing else until dinner, or at 9:30 (just go to bed!)
So they are cutting my group short. Instead of 20 weeks we are ending at 18. Then the new group comes into our group and they start their 20 weeks and I start all over again. So I told you I would tell you about the "other ways to lose weight" So there are 4, but to be completely honest I am only interested in 2. The first one is an open enrollment class I can start anytime it meets the same day and time as my class and I could go instead of my class. It's called Blast. (Become lean and start toning) I spend an hour combining walking, resistance training, yoga followed by a brief group connect. It's to get me started on a regular fitness routine. I have been getting up at 4:30 on the weekdays every other day and doing the callanetics (workout from hell) and my bike for 15 minutes. I also walk around the lake on weekends (about 4 miles). So I'm exercising. The other class is called Solutions : recovery from food addiction, this has been described to me as almost a collegiate program learning about the physiology of addictive responses in our brains and practice strategies for overcoming urges to binge eat. I binge eat. I plan to go to OA though, so I don't know what if anything I would get out of this. My other option...just stay in my class and go through it all again.
One thing I realized last night. Regardless of what I do...I have to do something every week for the rest of my life. I have to go to a booster class every week. I need to be held accountable and I need a group to answer to...its the only way I will succeed. That excites me (that I can see light at the end of the tunnel of how I can do this) and scares me (holy crap my life is never going to be relaxed about food again!)
2 comments:
THAT is very true...something/someone to hold you accountable is very important. I'm glad that you're ok with that. It seems like a pain in the ass (and it is) but it's a lifesyle change...right? Somethings are not going to be the same again.
I don't know how much my stories help, but I had that same realization about 1) my weight issues, and 2) Dante's Aspergers/ADD issues.
1) I don't have to ALWAYS have a epicurial experience when I eat. I used to (and sometimes still do) want the meal to be a creation, a masterpiece, evidence of my skill as a cook, etc. What I really need to do is have food to sustain me and separate it from everything else. I don't do anything else when I eat a meal. I used to read my book, but then I associated eating with reading, or I wouldn't stop when I was full, I would eat until I was done reading...crazy...I know.
I also have the same binge eating issues. I have this URGE to eat at night. That's when I consume the most calories.
2) My life will never be spontaneous agian because of Dante's symptoms and syndromes. Since I have learned that he is so routine driven, and that he works best with routines, (and we were driven by unhealthy routines before), I can't spontaneously plan a trip, stay out later than our routines dictate, deviate from paterns (because then I slip into bad routines, too).
Through all of this work we've done with a Family, Marriage Therapist I think I have learned that I, too, have ADD. (Kitty thinks Brian had Aspergers Syndrome too upon gaining knowledge and reflection on his life and childhood)
The worst part...and I am confiding this in you and have not told anyone else...I resent Nick's "life" something ferce right now.
Here is his daily routine during the week:
1. Wake up at 7am get kids ready and off to school by 8 (I'm usually there till 7:30 so I share that duty as well.)
2. Sleep until he wakes up. (Usually he has nothing important to do before work. During certain sports seasons he is involved with or runs fantasy sports leagues, so he may wake up to work on those.)
3. Goes to work.
4. Comes home (some time between 12:30 and whenever...sometimes he does his fantasy sports stuff at work so he feels guilty and works later than his shift.)
5. Eats, plays video games, watches tv, often falls asleep on the couch.
My Day (right now):
1. Get up between 5-6 (Dante often wakes up between 5-6 as well) depending on where I need to travel that day; work till 4:30.
2. Get Fiona from the YMCA at school. (Dante walks home from school now.)
3. Get kids to do their homework (and with Dante this is a constant battle. It's gotten better over time...but still largely a pain in the asteroids.
4. Snack them up, take one or the other to soccer practice M-Th.
5. Get or make dinner(usually it's been heat leftovers...)
6. Get kids ready for bath and bed (another constant struggle for Dante...)
7. By 9 when Dante goes to bed, I'm beat, but I still get household stuff done (dishes, laundry)
It seems like Nick has no parental responsibilites at all, he has not bought into the therapy for Dante is REALLY supposed to be therapy for us all.
Sorry I just barfed all my problems on your blog...but thanks for being my listener, too!
I'm so glad you did that! You put up with a LOT of shit and I always think wow what an easy going person beans is. I would so not be okay with John not doing the housework if I had to do all the stuff with the kids. No way man!
So why do you think you have ADD? I would never have thought that about you.
I love the idea of reading a blog about ADD and Aspergers Syndrome from the perspective of how it effects the child that is free of the symptoms and syndromes. That would be a great way to track and be mindful of it all.
It's got to be taking away from her that you have rearranged your entire way of living to accommodate Dante's condition.
Yep that would be good. I think it would be good to write of how it effects you too. I think it would be very beneficial for a parent to know early on what sacrifices had to be made by not just the siblings, but the parents as well. Plus it will make you mindful of what is hitting you...death by a million paper cuts sound bite comes to mind...
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