I wrote something in class last time...I meant to put it in the blog, but I forgot. I will do that tonight hopefully...it was our exercise. Something weird happened today. I was reading a book called Finding it : and satisfying my hunger for life without opening the fridge by: Valerie Bertinelli...it came out in 2009. So far it's okay. Much of it I can relate to. I was reading her interactions with her son and how that was sometimes a trigger for her and I found myself hungry! I don't get hungry. Even when it's time to eat...I just eat like clock work, but I'm not hungry. The odd thing...I've been hungry all day! I'll have a shake and an hour later I'm hungry! It's has to be some kind of psycho thing, but what?!
I ordered a few books...no one suggested them I just decided to get them...the funny thing...I don't really read books. I research them via book reviews and peer reviews. Reading a book cover to cover is a rarity for me. I've been reading a lot lately. I'm craving the free time to sit in the sun (ALONE!) and read my books. That's new! The books I ordered were the books they use in over-eaters anonymous. The whole 12 step program, traditions and even the workbook! I'm not sure if it's for me, but I thought I'd give it a read and see if it pertains to me. I went to the OA website and it had some criteria if OA would be good for you...I fit it, but then again I think half of AMERICA would fit it, so I'm not sticking all my marbles in that basket. It may be helpful to read it and try the workbook. We'll see.
I'm letting go of the sister stuff. She asked me my weight last week and I told her. I hate to lie to her, but I hate to confront her even more. This Thursday I'm not going to look at my weight. It's a numbers trap and I don't need to get wrapped up in it. So when she asked me again I can say I don't know. In a way I don't want to know. I know I'm losing weight. I can see it, why do I need the number? So, I think I will only look at it once a month!
I'm rewarding myself at certain goals. I decided when I get to 199 I'm getting my hair cut...no idea what style...I may just walk into a salon and say whatever looks cute. When I get to 180 I getting a thing called Lecithan? I don't know if I spelled it right. It's a $75 cream for dark circles. I haven't decided what I'll get for 160. For my goal weight I'm going to "the enchantress" its a bra boutique and I'm getting all new bras! When I keep the weight off for 8 months or until next summer I'm getting a boob lift! As much as this diet costs it will be easy to save up for the boob lift when I don't have to pay for it anymore. I lost 4.5 pounds last week so I'm now 202.5. By next week I will be at my first goal. I'm going to have to just pay attention to my Wii. It doesn't tell me how much I weigh just how much I lost. When it gets to 3 pounds I'm going to the salon baby!
2 comments:
AWESOME!!! Congrats on the weight goals!
I think it's a good idea to not stress about your sister. It will only make your relationship that much more strained, right?
I think your experience with the book might indicate that the overseeing is all mental? Maybe? It's all created in the mind, like a Pavlovian response? not mental crazy, but mental cerebral?
I'm excited to see the new hair. Be sure to post a picture!!!
I'm not really sure about the book. I'm not getting anything out of it. I think I'm over empathizing. I think I'm putting myself in her shoes because I can relate, she of course can eat her way through it talk about eating her way through where I can just feel hungry. The book isn't offering me any skills and I don't even really think it's inspirational...its just another person trying to keep weight off. I think I'm too critical of books really.
As for the hair...I have no idea what I'm going to have done. I almost chickened out today and said maybe I'll make the dark circle cream this one and the hair another one, but then I bounced back. Life is about risks and its just hair (a whole lot of hair)
On another note my nails are getting long! AND they are uber hard except for the pinkies...what's up with that!?
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