During the program they said that it would be a difficult transition for us. They didn't really mention how it would impact our spouses and loved ones. They did state that there is a very high divorce rate in the optifast program...too which I ignored. Hubby and I get along so well...divorce would be the furthest thing from my mind...if anything this change would help us. I was depressed I hated how I looked and what I had done to myself! I'd be a better person...to myself and to Hubby ...but I had to get healthy inside and out first.
Hubby has always encouraged me to go further. "You should get your BS degree and go into management...you should get a masters and be a librarian" Sometimes he's aggressive "You're short changing yourself...you're afraid to succeed! You're above this and you're working below you potential." I have often entertained the idea of going back to school. I love what I do, but I work with a bunch of morons. I think if I went to school and got a job with people a little more educated I might surround myself with a higher caliper of people...less moronic, but as the union VP I've met with some of the top people of the district and guess what...they are moronic! People are people, higher ed, world traveled or not...its not the education that distinguishes the caliper its the mind (open or closed).
If this program is any indication of the kind of support I would receive if I went back to school I would surely fail. I just want to work out 1 hour everyday. and prep my meals each night. I don't think I'm asking for too much, but it has impacted our relationship to the brink of insanity! Usually around Thursday I get a rash of complaints from him that I'm NEVER home and always exercising. I will admit Tuesday through Thursday is rough but I'm home. Tuesday & Thursday I get home late like 9pm. This is because of Zumba on Tuesday and Maintenance on Thursday. On Tuesday I come home then leave but John doesn't see me because he is building Roman armor. Wednesday I'm home at 6:45pm. The rest of the week/weekend I'm scrambling to get activity in either right after work or when I can that isn't too long away from John. He keeps bringing up that we don't do things together. We don't spend time together....I remind him that I went through and am going through a total lifestyle change. My counselor brought up a good point. I had 25 weeks of 2 hour counseling to prepare me...Hubby had none. I suggested that Hubby and I talk to a counselor...he said "Aimee?" That's my individual counselor. I said no. I want to see the counselor that did the 25 weeks of class. It's outside our insurance so we would have to pay out of pocket, but I think it's worth it. If anyone knows what we are going through it would be her. I'm going to make an appointment with her and then just shut up and let John and her go. I have explained my needs (which is a big freakin deal!) but he thinks I'm being OCD. Perhaps he needs to hear from someone else that I can't just "relax" about my health. There is not oops I forgot to plan. There is no failure to plan. There is no eating by the seat of your pants. That is a recipe for failure...that's drive thru or starve.
I think the counseling will help. At this point I have no answers. I want to do things with my husband, but I also refuse to sit in front of the computer 4 hours a night watching youtube and playing farmville. I'm done with that...if that's "together time" I'll pass.
2 comments:
That is true, that you have had time to process the change, but he hasn't. It's almost like the change is. Ring done TO him It with him. I hope it works out.
Ummm not much of that comment made sense...sorry. That's what happens when I type with big fingers on the phone...
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