2 more days

So we have 2 more days until Hubby and I meet up with the counselor on Saturday morning.  Things have gone well these last few weeks.  Our vitamix arrived and I made green smoothies for us each morning.  Hubby has drank them with bliss and has not looked at me as if I'm some kind of looney that just escaped the mental hospital.  I've been getting that look from him.  If I go to the gym 2 times in one day because there are 2 classes I really want to attend I get the...there she goes to extreme looks.

I have no idea how the meeting will go.  I've played it over in my head and came to no conclusion what so ever.  I thought perhaps hubby would go in there and just tell on me...like a child narking out a fellow classmate.  I've never seen Hubby in a counseling situation so I really don't know what to expect.  I thought he may go in and slam on the program...there by slamming my counselor as she facilitated every meeting with me.  Sherri is a strong person...very curious to see how that would roll.  I've wondered if Sherri would change her song outside the program...no no nib you don't NEED to work out that much....no no nib you don't NEED to plan each meal and have an action plan in for EVERY time you dine out.  What I don't want is for this to be stagnant.  In reality one of the scenarios needs to happen or Hubby nor I will be happy.  He needs someone...that is not a health NUT to validate him that I have gone over the deep end.  I need someone that is healthy to explain to him that in order to have a healthy lifestyle...you have to have a healthy lifestyle...which entails some form of exercise every day and mindful eating every day....EVERY DAY!    It almost seems like a no win situation, but hopefully in the end we all find a middle.

Right now we are not in the middle.  I'm getting activity in every chance I can and feeling guilty every second I do it because I know it bothers Hubby that I'm not enjoying myself with him.  I don't want to ride bikes.  I want to go to the gym period.

Hubby talked to my sister and bro in law about "this" Hubby said they were asking about me and my exercising.  Hubby says he just sang my praises...but the next time I saw my sister (Sunday) she said something about me needing to workout more at home...hmmm.  She tried to have me take her cindy crawford DVD...so I could stay home.  I said no I don't have time to work in another workout...she actually said with all seriousness..."You need to MAKE time"  I nearly laughed out loud.  So I worked out to her DVD with her on Monday.  It's okay, but the gym is way better and I've connected with the gym peeps...not to mention...Hubby was at work the whole time I worked out at sis's so it's not like I was neglecting him.  I don't know.  I'm trying to work on my relationships but it feels like everyone is judging me.  Maybe I AM nuts.

But mostly.  I need Hubby to hear and understand that I love him more than I could ever begin to describe and this is the best place physically, emotionally and psychologically I have ever been in my entire life.  I am more secure  when I am with him and like this.  I'm truly happy...happy like I have never felt.  If I lose this surely my heart will break because first I will lose myself and then I won't care enough to hold on to anything else.