So the negative vibe for me. It was basically a feeling that nothing I did was good enough. I told hubby the mom that he met was not the mom I grew up with. After my mom got cancer she was different. I loved the lady that survived the cancer...that mom was amazing. I remember every decision I made was wrong. I don't think any choice I made was actually right. When I had Jonathon not having an abortion was good, but getting pregnant was bad. Having a birth without an epidural was good, but not keeping it together during labor was bad...I nearly killed the baby! Going back to school...believe it or not...bad. Putting Jonathon in a child development center instead of daycare was okay, but bad that I was not staying at home with him! Nope nothing I did was right. My friends (sans you) were bad. My boyfriends were worse. I couldn't find decent people to hang out with me (what was wrong with me?!) I could go on.
So sure enough I came home from work yesterday and yep I was craving a pretzel! I had been warned about this...I had to think was I having the craving because I was essentially given permission to crave something? Was I that prone to suggestion? Maybe. I didn't sleep well last night and I could tell I wasn't thinking well. I took an hour nap. When I woke cravings were gone and I felt great.
Then hubby came home with the girls and the madness began. They needed $100 more for clothes, but they didn't have any receipts for what mom had bought...it doesn't matter though because "I need shoes!" And the $600 spent on them by a combined donation of mom and dad did not apparently include SHOES! When the answer was no maybe $50 there was anger. Then at dinner somehow we got on the discussion of college and oldest says her boyfriend and her will probably live here for a year after high school. Wait. WHAT?! Clarification please...did you just say you and your boyfriend that we have met 1 time are planning to move into my house?! Yep because that's what Daddy said. I look at hubby horrified. He quickly shoots back. I said when you graduate from high school if you go to college you can live here...I never said anything about your boyfriend! Oldest Daughter gets angry. YOU SAID I COULD LIVE HERE! I TOLD YOU MY BOYFRIEND AND I WERE MOVING IN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. That's when I chimed in. Your dad may have said you could move in and he may have misunderstood that you meant you and your boyfriend, but I'm telling you as the other person who owns this house...Your boyfriend will NEVER live here...in fact no boyfriends/girlfriends will live here EVER. After the nightmare I endured with my oldest son no, no, no, no NO! She stormed off into the room and I haven't seen her since.
It's going to be a great weekend. I plan to go be a blob at the pool first thing tomorrow and stay as far away from the madness as possible.
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