Doctor appointments

So I've had a few appointments.  This is a medically supervised diet, so you have to have all these tests before you can start.

They did an EKG...that was normal.  They did a sugar test after a fast and it was a little high, but not insulin level requirement...basically they are calling me borderline diabetic.

The  number...my weight that no one knows...212.5!  I was 203 when I started Optifast in 2002.  I've never weighed this much...EVER!

Okay so the first appointment we talked about how much I wanted to lose vs how much I should lose.  Most people want to lose more than they should...that wasn't me. They said for my height I should be 125.  I want to weigh 160...I'm willing to go down to 150 and then gain 10, but no way 125.  I got down to 140 last time and you could see my bones.  My bones are BIG AND DENSE!  We argued for a bit saying 150 was still overweight, but in the end they looked at my chart and realized they kicked me out of the program at 140 because you could see my RIBS!

I have to go to class once a week.  I may not blog every day, but I will blog after that class for sure.  That is when I do the weigh in.   The class is Thursday and the first one is June 16th.  I stop eating on the 23rd.

Here are signs I'm going crazy...

1. I turn into a baking fool...I look up recipes on the Internet and cook them. It's like full on research.  I like have an obsession for food, but I don't eat it and I express no desire to eat it.
2. I need others to finish eating their food.  Again the food obsession.
3. I stop having periods and I excuse it away.  The day I stop having periods is the day this program ends for me.  It took forever to start periods again and I didn't feel normal until I did.
4. You can see my ribs and I'm okay with that!  Nope!
5. Husband says I'm too thin and I question it.

Signs I'm not crazy...

1. My sister says I'm too thin(she did that last time early)  I just looked like I weighed less and she's not okay with me weighing less than her...hmmm wonder why I didn't go to her as my support.
2. The week before I go back to eating I begin researching low fat meals (I'm going to need to do that)
3. I look for ways to make the supplement taste better with every sugar free syrup known to man (those things are nasty...I'm not crazy I'm just disgusted)

So right now I'm not dieting or watching anything. Some days I won't have time to write a long diatribe...it may just be a number...a thought or a question.  Some days it may be a picture.