Food and Life

Life has been nothing but a big stress ball!  I suppose it could be worse and I am constantly looking for the bright side.

My kid drives a freakin motorcycle (bad thing).  Broke up with his girlfriend (which was a good thing) and started seeing a girl who had a boyfriend (bad thing)...now they are just friends (all of them) (good thing).  He just decided to rent a two-bed apartment in PB with my ex(not sure what to make of this good/bad).  step daughter is due in April (bad), Is getting married in June (bad)  Thinks we are going to pay for a huge wedding that she describes as small (bad)  She just got her learner's permit (good?)...she and youngest daughter got them at the same time.  They did not ask for help from Hubby.  Now because Hubby had nothing to do with it they are (successfully) guilting him into things like driving our mini!(bad)  Asking for money to pay for driver training (indifferent).  The sad thing is they really don't come over unless they want something.  It's a horrible thing to say...but as far as I can see it...it's true.

Where do I fit into that?  I don't.  I don't want to be the evil step mom that can't say a nice thing about her step daughters.  The more I am exposed to them...the more I get angry how they treat their dad.  I could bottle it up, but then it's death by a million paper cuts all over again.  I try to limit my exposure but then it looks like I'm avoiding them and in doing so I'm avoiding hubby too.

I'm on low carb this month.  It's not horrible...but I could really use a piece of bread! When food is this restricted (low carb) I can really see how I emotionally eat.  I often find myself going to the pantry (there is absolutely nothing in there for me) to snack on just something.  When I realize there is nothing I can eat in there I stop and do a little self inventory...I'm almost never hungry...I'm just stressed.  I sure do like to eat my pain away.

Life is changing everywhere I look.  Oldest son is living with ex.  Youngest son is in his room (it's that time... puberty sucks), the girls are growing up and away like a kite connected to hubby's wallet and step son may be coming back to California...the only down side to that is his cray cray mama is coming too.  She usually keeps to herself though.  My relationship with my sister is nearly non existent.  I'm running on...literally.

My only fear is that I will replace food with activity...most nutritionist and health pros would say that's not a bad trade, but as they say..."all things in moderation".